Do you hear that? It’s the sound of everyone taking big ol’ deep breath because Episode 3 of “The Bachelor” just ended. And my goodness, after all of that drama I could use a stiff drink and a massage from Jubilee!
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? First and foremost, Lauren B. got the first individual date. She is cute as a button and it’s obvious Ben is smitten with her. But listen, ABC, can we cool it with the hot tubs? Maybe the sauna sponsorship is what keeps the lights in “The Bachelor” mansion on, but even your slowest of viewers are questioning a suspiciously-placed hot tub in the middle of a field in Malibu.
The soccer group date is a disaster, naturally, as Rachel simultaneously cries over being injured and blames her injury on the team’s loss. Truly, it is the end of the world.
In the evening soccer after-party, Olivia manages to steal Ben away and the girls are peeved. Jami, who seems to be the only contestant who I truly feel like I know nothing about, is surprisingly #TeamOlivia, and dishes some of the gossip to her. The fact that Olivia is so anxious to guess that her calves and “cankles” are the butt of the joke when in fact it’s her “F-T’s” (toes), had me rolling in laughter. She seemed just a little proud of her cankles. As she should be, I suppose. Own those cankles, girl! But also… do you think she has Google alerts set to “Olivia + Cankles”? Like, how do you find a blog about your cankles? Better yet, how can I find that blog about her cankles?
(ABC/Rick Rowell)
Ok, Kylie, stay on topic! Jubilee got the next individual date, and boy oh boy the mean girls of the house were quick to turn on her. Just like most gossip, it stemmed from half a sentence- over hearing Jubilee ask if anyone wanted to have her date when she saw the helicopter. What I doubt most other girls heard was the line before that said she was terrified of heights. Now, here’s the deal. I loves me some good reality TV drama. But the girls of the house in tonight’s episode felt like a bunch of petty gossip queens who run their mouths the minute they hear half a sentence. Yes, Jubilee does seem a bit awkward, but confronting her with a giant group of aggressive women doesn’t sound like anyway to have a calm conversation.
Which is what leads me into my next thought- if Amber had any chance of winning Ben’s heart, I think her confronting Jubilee with Prince Charming in the room blew it! It was obvious that Ben took Jubilee’s side and just wanted the other women to leave her alone. Am I getting too preachy and feeding into the producer’s narrative to feel bad for Jubilee too easily? Probably, but also this just goes to show that these girls need to watch how they treat each other, because Benny boy is watching.
And poor Ben; he just can’t catch a break. That cocktail hour before the rose ceremony was a mess! Ben announces he just learned of the death of two friends, then Olivia decides it is the perfect time to cry about her cankles, Lace goes home (anyone notice how quick he was to run in the other direction the minute she said good bye?), jealousy brews over a massage, and the house turns into “Lord of the Flies” as the witch hunt to confront Jubilee for not being “grateful for the opportunity” implodes with J sobbing in the bathroom on Ben’s arm, and Amber looking like a bully.
Honestly, by the time Jami (again, who?? She had a few good one-liners, but other than that, I just don’t know anything about that woman) and Shushanna got sent home, I was relieved. This episode left me with a headache, and I’m not sure how to feel. I’m going to spend the next 6 days sorting out my feelings and writing in my diary, naturally.
Tell me how you feel! Were the ladies of the house too harsh on Jubilee? Should I be suspicious of her? How much of Olivia’s connection to Ben do you think is all in her head, and how much is real? And finally, will there be another hot tub scene next week? The tension is killing me! Tweet me your thoughts, feelings, predictions @TheKylieHodges and comment below!
