Hey, Bachelor nation! Did you get a chance to catch last night’s season premiere of The Bachelorette? The first episode of the season is by far one of my favorites because you get to meet 28 attractive men, pick your favorites, and make your predictions. If you did get a chance to watch, you know JoJo Fletcher was basically a goddess with her flawless ombre hair and signature sparkly dress. She is definitely on my list of top 5 favorite bachelorettes. She’s right up there with Desiree Hartsock. Whether or not you tuned in to the premiere, here is my take on what went down last night at the bachelor mansion.
(ABC/Craig Sjodin)
The episode started with the usual walk on the beach. Bachelor’s get a mysterious shower scene while bachelorette’s get a long contemplative walk on the beach. We expect nothing less at this point. As bachelor tradition goes, JoJo was given “advice” by some past bachelorettes. Accompanying JoJo was Desiree Hartsock, Kaitlyn Bristowe, and Ali Fedotowsky. Their best advice was to not be afraid to kiss someone on the first night. SPOILER ALERT: JoJo definitely took their advice.
Before JoJo could start smooching her potential suitors, we had to meet them all on the usual wet bachelor mansion driveway. I wonder if the driveway is always wet because of all the tears that are shed on it?
The first guy that gets out of the limo is Jordan. We were off to a good start with Jordan. JoJo says Jordan is “hot” and we can’t help but agree with her. This former pro quarterback is definitely a touchdown and everything we ever wanted for our girl JoJo. My prediction is that Jordan will go far. Fun fact about Jordan: his brother is Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. Yes, that Aaron Rodgers. You know…the one that has been voted the NFL MVP not once, but TWICE! Seems like Jordan picked up some pointers from his big bro because he is definitely the MVP on night one.
JoJo gave him the first impression rose and he was the first and only real kiss of the night. I am absolutely team Jordan and he is my top pick so far.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I used the phrase “real kiss” and this is because the actual first kiss of the night was shared between JoJo and Will. Will stole Jojo’s first kiss with an old- school favorite fortune telling game. Her fortune said she had to kiss Will, so she played along and gave him a quick peck on the lips. I’m pretty sure no matter which fortune JoJo opened she was going to have to kiss Will but that’s not the point. I am still saying Jordan got the first kiss of the night because Will’s doesn’t really count. Don’t you agree?
A few attractive men later, JoJo says this experience is going to be “one hell of a ride.” Well JoJo, you are absolutely right. We have already pinpointed our villains and weirdos of the season. Let’s talk about our Canadian suitor, Daniel. While he is wildly handsome, we can’t help but cringe watching Daniel’s interactions with Jojo and basically everyone. Daniel’s ice breaker of choice was yelling “daaaaamn JoJo” as he got out of the limo. Now, we all know he’s referencing the dated viral internet video “damn Daniel,” but apparently JoJo has no idea what he’s referring to. Can you say awkward? Daniel proceeds to ask JoJo if she’s been following the internet for the last couple months which is by far the dumbest question of the night. Poor Daniel. If that wasn’t enough, Daniel gets drunk and strips down to his interesting girly underwear and jumps into the pool. Getting naked on the first night isn’t the way to JoJo’s heart but somehow he still manages to get a rose *inert eye roll.*
My guess is that Daniel will cause a stir this season but not as much as our #1 villain, Chad. We sensed some “bad boy vibes” from Chad the second he stepped out of the limo but JoJo can’t resist his mysterious charm. I don’t know about you but I was screaming “run JoJo!” at my television. JoJo clearly doesn’t need another bad boy in her life after all that drama with her ex who broke her heart before she went on Ben’s season. I hope I’m wrong about Chad but my prediction is that he will be public enemy #1 this season.
On top of an already hectic night, we had an abundance of drunk men. Poor JoJo could not even get an interview in without being interrupted by drunken shenanigans. Nick S. and our favorite guido Vinny both barged in and had some sweet but drunken words to share with JoJo during her interview. I would consider having “dry” cocktail parties from now on but let’s honest, what’s the fun in that? We need to put the temptations out there to see how the men handle themselves. It’s also just really entertaining.
(ABC/Rick Rowell)
Before the rose ceremony we are surprised by none other than Jake Pavelka exiting a limo. Why is here? What is happening? I was relieved to learn that he was only there to give JoJo some advice as a “close family friend.” I’m not exactly sure why Jake is a close family friend of JoJo’s but as long as he’s not here to date her, I’m okay with it. The only guy who recognized Jake was James S., the “bachelor super fan.” No surprise there. As soon as Jake walked in, the camera focused on James’ sassy side eye. James S. was embodying all of us in that moment.
JoJo said goodbye to five men which is always sad but it brings us one step closer to all the drama that will undoubtedly ensue this season. Now, since last night was the first episode of the season, I’m going to share my predictions with ya’ll!
Here are my top 5 men thus far:
- Jordan – This pick is for obvious reasons. JoJo clearly likes him. He got the first impression rose and the first and only real kiss. I think he will go far. Maybe even top two.
- Derek – This pick is strictly for selfish reasons. I have a major crush on Derek and if he doesn’t make it far I will definitely questions JoJo’s judgment.
- Luke – Luke is so sweet and his ride in on the unicorn made me swoon. He’s a southern gentleman and his chemistry with JoJo is pretty evident.
- Wells – We’ve never seen someone bring an entire boy band to impress our leading lady. Wells is ranked #4 because he brought All-4-one to sing to JoJo and I was pleasantly surprised.
- James T. – James and JoJo shared a moment or two and he made my list because I can see him singing his way into America’s hearts.
Tune in Monday night at 8/7c on ABC to see who JoJo picks for her first date! Share your thoughts below or tweet us @PopHeartsTV
